Top 5 non-cats

In seventh place, we have Emerald, or Emmy, in David and Leigh Eddings’ The Redemption of Althalus. Emmy is a goddess in the form of a cat so that Althalus can deal with the information she needs to impart to him. Because a talking cat is always more realistic than a goddess in any other form. Look, idk what they were thinking, ok? But we love Emmy because she is snark and sarcasm personified. (Also, there might be a real reason why she’s a cat. Other than this ridiuclous reason. But I can’t remember it because it’s been so long since I read it.)

The Redemption of Althalus — David and Leigh Eddings

Althalus is a young thief and occasional killer known for his skill and incredible luck. A number of capers end without much monetary reward for him, until he stumbles into a shrine built to the fertility goddess Dweia. Soon afterward he meets with the wizard Ghend, who hires him to steal the Book, a magical tome that can be found in the bizarre House at the End of the World.

There, Althalus discovers Dweia in the form of a black cat and learns that she has chosen him to aid her in a war against Ghend and her evil brother, the destroyer god Daeva. Together Althalus and Dweia use the power of the Book and gather together a small team of questionable heroes who must battle Ghend’s supernatural forces and armies. The thief Althalus can only hope his luck holds out for this one last task, since the very fate of humanity is at stake.

Next up is Church, from basically all of the Shadowhunter books by Cassandra Clare. Well, he’s definitely in The Infernal Devices (set in London in the 1800’s). And The Mortal Instruments (set in New York in the last 10 years). I mean, he could be in more, but I’m behind on my Shadowhunter reading. So, I know cats. They may have nine lives, but they don’t live THAT long. Church isn’t really a cat-cat. But I like him extra because of this. I also think Chaiman Meow could be in this category as well. But again, I am behind on my Shadowhunter books.

City of Bones — Cassandra Clare

When fifteen-year-old Clary Fray heads out to the Pandemonium Club in New York City, she hardly expects to witness a murder ― much less a murder committed by three teenagers covered with strange tattoos and brandishing bizarre weapons. Then the body disappears into thin air. It’s hard to call the police when the murderers are invisible to everyone else and when there is nothing ― not even a smear of blood ― to show that a boy has died. Or was he a boy?

This is Clary’s first meeting with the Shadowhunters, warriors dedicated to ridding the earth of demons. It’s also her first encounter with Jace, a Shadowhunter who looks a little like an angel and acts a lot like a jerk. Within twenty-four hours Clary is pulled into Jace’s world with a vengeance when her mother disappears and Clary herself is attacked by a demon. But why would demons be interested in ordinary mundanes like Clary and her mother? And how did Clary suddenly get the Sight? The Shadowhunters would like to know…

Fifth place goes to You. Yep, Granny Weatherwax’s cat is called You. Although Granny doesn’t meet You until the Tiffany Aching books (which you can read by themselves). And if you (actual you, not the cat… wow, this is going to get confusing) read the Discworld witch series by Terry Pratchett and still think that You is a normal cat, then I think one of us has missed something…

The Wee Free Men — Terry Pratchett

Armed only with a frying pan and her common sense, Tiffany Aching, a young witch-to-be, is all that stands between the monsters of Fairyland and the warm, green Chalk country that is her home.

Forced into Fairyland to seek her kidnapped brother, Tiffany allies herself with the Chalk’s local Nac Mac Feegle — aka the Wee Free Men — a clan of sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men who are as fierce as they are funny.

Together they battle through an eerie and ever-shifting landscape, fighting brutal flying fairies, dream-spinning dromes, and grimhounds — black dogs with eyes of fire and teeth of razors — before ultimately confronting the Queen of the Elves, absolute ruler of a world in which reality intertwines with nightmare. And in the final showdown, Tiffany must face her cruel power alone…

In fourth place is Fenestra from the Nevermoor series by Jessica Townsend. Fenestra is a Magnificat, which means that she’s magnificent. She’s also as big as a horse, can speak, and is in charge of housekeeping at the Hotel Deucalion. Yep. Personally I wouldn’t leave my cats in charge of any cleaning. But Fenestra seems to manage it, despite Morrigan never seeing her doing any work in the two books out so far.

Nevermoor: The Trials of Morrigan Crow — Jessica Townsend

A cursed girl escapes death and finds herself in a magical world — but is then tested beyond her wildest imagination.

Morrigan Crow is cursed. Having been born on Eventide, the unluckiest day for any child to be born, she’s blamed for all local misfortunes, from hailstorms to heart attacks — and, worst of all, the curse means that Morrigan is doomed to die at midnight on her eleventh birthday.

But as Morrigan awaits her fate, a strange and remarkable man named Jupiter North appears. Chased by black-smoke hounds and shadowy hunters on horseback, he whisks her away into the safety of a secret, magical city called Nevermoor.

It’s then that Morrigan discovers Jupiter has chosen her to contend for a place in the city’s most prestigious organization: the Wundrous Society. In order to join, she must compete in four difficult and dangerous trials against hundreds of other children, each boasting an extraordinary talent that sets them apart — an extraordinary talent that Morrigan insists she does not have. To stay in the safety of Nevermoor for good, Morrigan will need to find a way to pass the tests — or she’ll have to leave the city to confront her deadly fate.

Third place! See that kitty on the cover? His name is Maruman. He’s an arsehole. He is from Obernewtyn by Isobelle Carmody. He’s also possibly the only one who breaks my rule, because he *is* a cat. But because Elspeth (our MC in this series) can mind-speak with him (and he has visions) he doesn’t come across as a real cat. Or maybe he isn’t a real cat-cat. It’s dystopian fantasy so who even knows.

Obernewtyn — Isobelle Carmdy

For Elspeth Gordie freedom is — like so much else after the Great White — a memory.

It was a time known as the Age of Chaos. In a final explosive flash everything was destroyed. The few who survived banded together and formed a Council for protection. But people like Elspeth — mysteriously born with powerful mental abilities — are feared by the Council and hunted down like animals… to be destroyed.

Her only hope for survival to is keep her power hidden. But is secrecy enough against the terrible power of the Council?

Just missing out on my top place is Mister Kindly! (And wouldn’t he be salty about that!) Jay Kristoff’s shadow cat from the Nevernight Chronicle has the biggest attitude and I am all about that sarcasm. I love that between him and Mercutio they raised the most beautiful, stabby person, hell-bent on revenge at all costs. In saying all of this, come back to me in September once I’ve read Darkdawn. Because Mister Kindly may just take out number one, depending on the events of our final chapter in Mia’s story.

Nevernight — Jay Kristoff

In a land where three suns almost never set, a fledgling killer joins a school of assassins, seeking vengeance against the powers who destroyed her family.

Daughter of an executed traitor, Mia Corvere is barely able to escape her father’s failed rebellion with her life. Alone and friendless, she hides in a city built from the bones of a dead god, hunted by the Senate and her father’s former comrades. But her gift for speaking with the shadows leads her to the door of a retired killer, and a future she never imagined.

Now, Mia is apprenticed to the deadliest flock of assassins in the entire Republic — the Red Church. If she bests her fellow students in contests of steel, poison and the subtle arts, she’ll be inducted among the Blades of the Lady of Blessed Murder, and one step closer to the vengeance she desires. But a killer is loose within the Church’s halls, the bloody secrets of Mia’s past return to haunt her, and a plot to bring down the entire congregation is unfolding in the shadows she so loves.

Will she even survive to initiation, let alone have her revenge?

Finally, my current number one non-cat, is Mogget from Garth Nix’s The Old Kingdom series. No spoilers, but Mogget looks like a fluffy white kitty, with a blue satin ribbon for a collar. And on that collar is a teeny, tiny little bell. That MUST NEVER BE REMOVED. For plot reasons. Basically, grumpy, snarky, smart-ass, sarcastic Mogget looks like this in my head (but the ribbon is blue, obvs):

Basically, he’s me, but in cat form. Except he has an amazing ability thing. that I can’t talk about it. But if you do read the books (they’re amazing) then you’d know about it too. And then we could fanperson about it together.

Sabriel — Garth Nix

Sent to a boarding school in Ancelstierre as a young child, Sabriel has had little experience with the random power of Free Magic or the Dead who refuse to stay dead in the Old Kingdom. But during her final semester, her father, the Abhorsen, goes missing, and Sabriel knows she must enter the Old Kingdom to find him.

With Sabriel, the first installment in the Abhorsen series, Garth Nix exploded onto the fantasy scene as a rising star, in a novel that takes readers to a world where the line between the living and the dead isn’t always clear—and sometimes disappears altogether.