Top 5 queer books I don’t scream about enough

I love this books so much. While a lot of it is about being blackmailed and an advice column, there is a whole sub-genre of bisexual cancel-culture. And while this is something that I could talk for hours on, I will try not to. But, if you’re a bi girl and you date a guy, that does NOT make you straight. And this book discusses that in a way that I will always want to scream about (in a positive way).

Blurb:

Darcy Phillips:

• Can give you the solution to any of your relationship woes ― for a fee.
• Uses her power for good. Most of the time.
• Really cannot stand Alexander Brougham.
• Has maybe not the best judgement when it comes to her best friend, Brooke…who is in love with someone else.
• Does not appreciate being blackmailed.

However, when Brougham catches her in the act of collecting letters from locker 89 ― out of which she’s been running her questionably legal, anonymous relationship advice service ― that’s exactly what happens. In exchange for keeping her secret, Darcy begrudgingly agrees to become his personal dating coach ― at a generous hourly rate, at least. The goal? To help him win his ex-girlfriend back.

Darcy has a good reason to keep her identity secret. If word gets out that she’s behind the locker, some things she’s not proud of will come to light, and there’s a good chance Brooke will never speak to her again.

Okay, so all she has to do is help an entitled, bratty, (annoyingly hot) guy win over a girl who’s already fallen for him once? What could go wrong?

Yes, Alexis Hall, of Boyfriend Material fame, wrote a book about a bisexual baker in her late twenties who is on a British Bake-Off type show, and it’s now one of my fave things ever. The story ALSO talks about bi-erasure, but it also deals with fetishisation and people thinking that bi’s are only in it for threesomes, or because we can’t “choose”. *cue internal screaming* BUT, I love this book and what it represents so much.

Blurb:

Following the recipe is the key to a successful bake. Rosaline Palmer has always lived by those rules ― well, except for when she dropped out of college to raise her daughter, Amelie. Now, with a paycheck as useful as greaseproof paper and a house crumbling faster than biscuits in tea, she’s teetering on the edge of financial disaster. But where there’s a whisk there’s a way… and Rosaline has just landed a spot on the nation’s most beloved baking show.

Winning the prize money would give her daughter the life she deserves ― and Rosaline is determined to stick to the instructions. However, more than collapsing trifles stand between Rosaline and sweet, sweet victory. Suave, well-educated, and parent-approved Alain Pope knows all the right moves to sweep her off her feet, but it’s shy electrician Harry Dobson who makes Rosaline question her long-held beliefs ― about herself, her family, and her desires.

Rosaline fears falling for Harry is a guaranteed recipe for disaster. Yet as the competition ― and the ovens ― heat up, Rosaline starts to realize the most delicious bakes come from the heart.

This series is one that breaks my heart over and over while reading it ― and I’m not even mad. In fact, the way that C. G. writes, I crave it. I would offer my heart up on a platter to be smashed again and again by her. So, this book is about Avery Lou, who is Sammy’s brother from book 1. Avery is undefined queer, but has been with male and female characters. His story is more about autism, but it’s still queer and I would 100% adopt all these babies.

Blurb:

NOTE: This is book TWO in The Boy Who Steals Houses series. Read blurb at your own peril.

Avery Lou has given up stealing houses ― now he’s meant to build them. Forced to stay with the De Lainey family until Sam’s return from juvie, Avery feels like he’s drowning. He hates that Sam chose the De Laineys instead of running away with him. And he hates working in their construction company while Vin, the thief who hurt Sam, still walks free. Avery wants revenge.

Swapping the sharp-edged world of burglary and car theft for the homey chaos of big family life is a wild adjustment, and Avery’s determined to sabotage his time with the De Laineys and get locked up with Sam instead. Avery just has to stay immune to Jeremy’s charming shenanigans. Easy… sort of. But Avery’s war against Vin has brought trouble to the De Lainey door and he can’t survive this fight alone.

I think we all know how much I love a good AU royalty drama. Katharine McGee’s American Royals series is a firm fave, as is Rachel Hawkins’ Scottish Royals. But THIS is the British royals book that everyone should be screaming about (Red, White and Royal what, now?) We have a bisexual prince who is outed by the media and dealing with the consequences. But the thing that I love most about this book is that it’s about the whole family, and not just the main couple. If you’ve been watching The Royals on Netflix, this is the book for you.

Blurb:

The second son of the Queen of England has certain responsibilities. Dress well, smile at public events, uphold the family honor, be straight. At sixteen, Edward Kensington had been convinced that hiding his bisexuality was a small price to pay to protect his mother and siblings from yet another tabloid scandal in the wake of his parents’ high-profile divorce. But over ten years later, even a closet the size of Buckingham Palace feels small, and his secrets have only gotten harder to keep. Like being in love with his bodyguard ― a man by the name of Isaac Cole.

Then he’s outed by the press.

The official schedule has no time for an identity crisis, even though every member of the royal family seems to be having one at once. Eddie’s estranged father shows up. His sister flirts with the reporter hired to write their grandmother’s biography. His older brother, harboring a secret of his own, is more reluctant than ever to take up public-facing duties, and Her Majesty is considering going out on a date. And now the Public Relations Office has set Eddie the task of finding himself a suitable fiancée.

But when Eddie learns that Isaac returns his decidedly inconvenient feelings, keeping calm and carrying on becomes impossible. Prince Charming never wished harder for a men’s size 12 glass slipper, but life in the spotlight isn’t a fairy tale, and there are some dragons not even a prince can fight alone. For any one of them to steal a happily ever after, the Kensingtons will have to pull together for the first time since the Second World War.

Hold on to your tiaras. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

Yes, yes, Nikolai is great and all that (yes, actually, I do love him, but he’s not why we’re here today)… BUT Nina is a bisexual queen, and I love her. So much. Don’t get me wrong, I am still mourning the end of Crooked Kingdom with everyone else. But this story healed my heart just a tiny bit. Also the trans rep in this is *chefs kiss*.

Blurb:

The dashing young king, Nikolai Lantsov, has always had a gift for the impossible. No one knows what he endured in his country’s bloody civil war–and he intends to keep it that way. Now, as enemies gather at his weakened borders, Nikolai must find a way to refill Ravka’s coffers, forge new alliances, and stop a rising threat to the once-great Grisha Army.

Yet with every day a dark magic within him grows stronger, threatening to destroy all he has built. With the help of a young monk and a legendary Grisha general, Nikolai will journey to the places in Ravka where the deepest magic survives to vanquish the terrible legacy inside him. He will risk everything to save his country and himself. But some secrets aren’t meant to stay buried–and some wounds aren’t meant to heal.